Compatibility In Your Relationship — Is It In The Toilet?
Compatibility in relationships could very well be indicated by the smallest of things — like how you use your toilet paper
Ah, thank the gods and goddesses for toilet paper. The enduring necessity made a commodity in the middle 1800’s. Americans are credited with flushing approximately 7 billion rolls of it down the crapper each year. But did you know before Joseph Gayetty invented the modern roll of tissue people wiped their soiled bums on everything from:
…their hands to wool, lace or hemp,, leaves, grass, hay, stone, sand, moss, water, snow, maize, ferns, plant husks, fruit skins, seashells, and corncobs, (ouch!) depending upon the country and weather conditions or social customs. In Ancient Rome, a sponge on a stick[citation needed] was commonly used, and, after use, placed back in a pail of vinegar. — Source
Throughout history human beings’ toileting habits have spoken reams about each culture, a person’s social class and the degree of wealth attained. By determining what a person used to cleanse themselves after ‘taking care of business’ you could distinguish whether they were poor or affluent, tribal or civilized, even male or female. So, if toilet paper can tell us all that, maybe it can forecast a couple’s chances for happiness, too! After all, reading tea leaves was a thing used for making predictions once, was it not?
Let’s get down to business
Hold your snickering and consider this, exactly how do you prepare your toilet paper for use? Practically speaking, there’s really only two choice methods, folding or wadding. If you’re inclinded to methodically and neatly fold it into a multi-layered pad before putting it to use then you’re obviously a folder but if you’re given to swiftly wadding it up into a cushy misshapen lump then you’re a wadder.
Perhaps you’ve never noticed or given it much thought, but just for a second stop and think about it, or observe yourself the next time you need a little (or a lot) of toilet paper. Do you fold it or wad it up before make a pass at your derriere?
In the interest of full disclosure, I’m a wadder. Though there is a wikiHow instruction for folding toilet paper on the roll to indicate a bathroom has been cleaned, but I can’t ever recall being shown or told to wad, it’s always seemed, well…natural and practical since toilet paper is only a sheet 4 1/2" x 4 1/2" inches square, thus, if you don’t get it turned the right way or enough of it you could find yourself short of hand when it’s most crucial. The choice to fold or wad is most likely similar to how a child develops naturally as right-handed or left-handed.
Without any influence or interference, I developed naturally into a right hander and a toilet paper wadder. They seemed to go hand in hand for me. Inititially, there was no forethought, now it just seems unfailingly expeditious and prudent use of my time and paper resources. I’m certain wadders everywhere will agree with me!
I know what you’re thinking, have I lost my mind? Possibly, but let’s not meander down the primrose path of my mental stability until you hear me out.
This might seem like a small detail of no consequence between two people, I mean it’s not like it’s religious preference or veganism but, it could actually point toward the degree of compatibility a couple may or may not enjoy in their relationship.
Let’s consider the personality of each our consumer of sheafs — the wadder versus the folder
More apt to be spontaneous and off the cuff in social situations, a typical toilet paper wadder might loosely be categorized as having a tendency towards extroversion though it may not always be the case. They love to talk, are typically energetic and gregarious personalities, and are usually found to have a good sense of humor. They are, however, easily distracted and can sometimes rush through tasks missing important details, the latter being crucial sticking point when it comes to personal hygiene.
A toilet paper folder, on the other hand, enjoys control (and will be less likely to adopt the a lais·sez-faire attitude like ‘sh*t happens’) preferring to have a bit more it over everyday details, in general, and can often be found to be a tad more rigid than spontaneous, needing to know what’s coming next, as opposed to flying by the seat of his pants. Folders are usually reliable, self-sufficient planners and usually have both feet firmly on the ground while sitting on the stool.
Freud might have done well to ask his patients the “folder v. wadder” question when predicting which of his famously gross psychosexual development stages (Anal Retentive or anal Expulsive) one might have a tendency to linger a bit too long in as a result of clumsily being potty trained…but I digress.
What does any of this have to do with compatibility?
Well, maybe it’s all about negotiating balance within the usual conundrum of opposites attracting to one another. And perhaps it’s about not getting too hung up on the small and annoying dingleberries of difference that cling to the fabric of our relationships from time to time. Whether you fold or wad, you’ll probably agree, quickly wiping away the small stuff is a good habit to get into when navigating the waters of any relationship.
S Lynn Knight, 2017
